After my most recent victory some folks have accused me of doping. It’s time to put these rumors to rest. I’ll come clean and tell you my secret, which can be seen in the above picture, it’s Japanese candy.

I have no idea what it says and it doesn’t even taste that great, but sometimes to win you have to take the pain, just like Jose Canseco injecting his teammates in the ass with a needle, I consumed said candy. So if you’re tough enough and want to win, just like the runner on the package, pick up some of this candy. I’d tell you the name, but I have no idea what it is called…