Running Insurance

I’d like to make my sales pitch to you, have you ever thought about the risk of injury while running and what that might mean to your family? The loss of a limb, a broken leg, a pit bull bites you in the ass, how would your spouse and kids cope? Ok, I’m being facetious.

These days you can purchase insurance for everything, Best Buy will sell you an insurance plan for a $30 phone, pet insurance, travel insurance, etc. So it should come to no surprise that I recently came across a company selling running insurance. Let’s take a look at their policy payouts.

Double Principal Sum for quadriplegia ($50,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for loss of life ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for paraplegia ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for hemiplegia ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for loss of both hands or both feet ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for loss of use of both hands or both feet ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for loss of entire sight of both eyes ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for loss of one hand and one foot ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for loss of one hand and entire sight of one eye ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for loss of one foot and entire sight of one eye ($25,000.00)
Full Principal Sum for loss of speech and hearing in both ears ($25,000.00)

So being a quadriplegia, is twice as bad as getting killed? Anyway, I think I’m going to roll the dice and keep on running without insurance, personally I like to self insure as much as possible!

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One Response to “Running Insurance”

  1. my favorite item on this ticket is the one where you’ve lost both your hearing and speech as a result of running. the only ways i can figure it:

    a) you’ve been attacked by a giant flock hyperintelligent crows, magpies, whatever while running on some spooky night down near Alamosa, who proceed to mercilessly ravage your face.
    b) you do most of your running at rocky flats and your sensory organs are gradually melting away along with the rest of your body
    c) both your sinus cavities and… uh… mouth… explode in shock when you go beat alan culpepper at the governor’s cup 10k.

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